Baby Steps #15- Metaphor

6"x6" watercolor collage Price $50

Baby shoes are a great metaphor...new beginnings, times gone by, loves found, loves lost, innocence, baby steps, things forgotten, things remembered.  I posted on FB trying to find out the name of my first grade teacher.  Boy did that stir up a lively conversation which included old (literally) friends, out of touch friends, associates, and even people I didn't spend any time with.  Talk about "things remembered!"  What is your first memory?  For a long time I had a memory that involved fear and the world changing into a blur of colors.  I loved that blur, despite the fear. When I was a bit older and understood language a whole lot better, I suddenly was able to make the association of the memory with an experience I was having at the time.  It was winter and I was sledding.  My memory was probably of the first time I went sledding.  The whole world tilted again with that memory and being able to put words of explanation to it.  There have been other times in my life when I felt the sensation of the world tilting or slipping, but none of them are as pleasant or exhilarating.  I had kind of sinking feeling last fall during the election campaign....but that was a whole different thing!  Go Figure!

Baby Steps #14 - Too Much?

5"x7" watercolor Price $50

 Do you remember the first art that really moved you?  For me it was Dick, Jane and Sally illustrations by Robert Childress, my first love affair with art.   In first grade we had to sit round robin and read aloud when it was our turn.  I can't imagine how painfully boring that must have been for the teacher.  I think it made her a bit cranky.  I could read because I watched my father teach my sister to read lying on a blanket on the living room floor.  There were a lot of tears involved and I vowed I would teach myself to read so I wouldn't have to endure that.  While waiting for my turn in the reading group I would read ahead and look at the pictures.  I thought they were magical!  I was in art appreciation zone and very happy.  Then the teacher would call my name, observing that I wasn't with the group.  I wouldn't know what page I was suppose to read and she wouldn't tell me.  It was humiliating.  Today, I feel bad for both of us.  Mostly though, I loved her.  She was very young and very pretty.  When we came back from Christmas vacation she announced she had a new name because she had gotten married.  It was Baumgartner.  I don't remember her maiden name but it was something like Smith.  I thought Baumgartner was impossible.  It took a lot of effort to learn that new name.  She should have considered that when she was dragging my attention away from my beloved "Dick, Jane and Sally." By the way, Sally wore baby shoes in those pictures.  Go Figure!

Figuratively Speaking- Baby Steps #13- Mouse Tales

6"x6" watercolor Price $100

The following is an account of my relationship with mice. As a child, it had mostly to do with Mickey and Minnie or Jerry.  Occasionally my father would catch a mouse in a snap trap.  We were warned severely about the dangers of the traps with, "It will break your finger," a frightful image for me to this day. When the poor mouse was caught, my father would discreetly dispose of it.  I never asked where.  I did, however, ask to see the dead mouse (because I was that kid) and he let me.  It horrified me.  I felt so bad for that sweet little thing.  My father had cataract surgery when I was a little older.  That was in the days when it was a really big deal and he was incapacitated for a long time.  On the day when my father was finally allowed to go back to work, we all marched outside to bid him a celebratory adieu. My mom drove one of those station wagons with a third seat turned backwards.  My dad had a big silver car with fins.  I think it was an Oldsmobile, and it had remained in the driveway which abutted a corn field for the entire time dad was unable to drive.  When my dad pulled out of the driveway we all clapped merrily and then broke into hysterical laughter because a gazillion mice ran out from it and scattered in every direction.  My dad, not realizing anything was amiss, smiled and waved at us until he disappeared from sight.  Now, in the fall, mice usually sneak into our attic, trying to find a friendly and warm home for the winter.  My husband is in charge of catching them.  I don't ask to see them....Go Figure!

Figuratively Speaking - Baby Steps #12- Even for Super Heroes

Even super heroes once wore baby shoes.  My youngest son, Harry, was adopted.  I call him my chosen child.  The rest of his family are tall white folks.  He was tiny until he became a teenager and started playing football. Then he started to look like a super hero.  He was also really agile and wiry.  We were all lanky and rather clumsy.  He was in love with football, dinosaurs and superman.  He was the one who was always wondering off and I spent many hours in frustration looking for him.  A favorite trick of his was to climb to the top of a tree in our front yard and sit there quietly, watching us below looking for him.  He loved that tree too.  It was his private place. He would climb up and wedge his football in the branches and then place his dinosaurs around it to protect it.  Once when we were traveling and had to leave the hotel early in the morning he refused to wake up and was a super crab when he did.  I told him to go lay in the back of the van while we packed it up.  After the packing chaos and finally getting everyone in the van, we took off.  We had some family friends with us as well so it was all a confusion of action, suitcases and plans.  Harry's friend spoke up about an hour after we were on the highway and asked where Harry was.  I said, "In the back sleeping."  He said, "No he isn't."    I of course panicked and imagined all the horrible things that could happen to a child alone in a huge hotel.  We sped back.  I was a nervous wreck and drowning in guilt.  When we arrived back at the hotel, he was eating in the restaurant.  Another quality of Harry's is that he always kind of looked like an orphan and people were always giving him stuff.  He wasn't too upset, until,  once I was done fawning over him, I let him have it.  I don't think he ever wandered off after that.  Go Figure!

Figuratively Speaking - Baby Steps #11- Bird's Eye View

6"x6" pastel $50

It is hard to recognize today's date without thinking about where we were and what we were doing in 2001 on 9/11.  I was a teacher and was in my class when another teacher burst into the room and said to me, "New York is being bombed!"  Besides not having factual news, she had forgotten that my daughter lived in NY.  I got someone to cover my class and ran to find out what was happening.  After many long moments of high anxiety and inability to get her on the phone, she finally was able to get through to me. It was a poignant conversation.  No one on the ground in the city knew what really was happening and communication lines came down quickly. Long story short, she ended up having to hitch hike across the Triborough Bridge to get home.  She had a clear view across the East River to the billowing smoke and dust.  I went down to be with her the following weekend.  She had to go to Pace University to pick up something that weekend.  Pace is a stone's throw from the old World Trade Center buildings.  I will never forget that image and all the sensory input that went with it.  There was a heaviness, a profound sadness in the city and it lasted for a long time.  But, as in all tragedies, and with all the horror of what humans are capable of, it also brings out the best in people and really good people shine forth in the darkness. Who would have guessed a short year before those fateful events, when we were going through all that Y2K nonsense, that  in a short time we would be facing such a huge and real attack.  Our hearts still feel sorrow for the victims, and police and firefighters who gave their lives to try and save others.  I have no more to say on this...Go Figure.

Figuratively Speaking -Baby Steps 9 &10

5"x8" acrylic on Yupo, $50

5"x5", Pentel markers on Yupo, $50

These two little paintings were done during hurricane Irma.  I do not live in Florida, but I was a bit obsessed with with the whole thing because I know a lot of people who do reside there.  They both reflect Irma's influence on me.  The top one, #8, has the dark, broken branch, blowing in the wind look (all unintentional)  and the second one is my tribute to Florida.  It is my interpretation of Floridian colors and I made the rudbeckia look like Palm Trees (kind of).  The shoes represent the peninsula and the lace holes like little tornadoes or hurricanes.  I am grateful that the damage wasn't quite as bad as they had predicted and everyone I know is out of dangers' way and starting to assess the clean-up.  I hope the reports turn positive quickly.  In the northeast we are having a gorgeous day...and weirdly...I feel guilty about that. Go Figure!

Figuratively Speaking - Baby Steps #8- values

Values 6"x6" acrylic on paper Price $50

Football season has begun.  I am the most unlikely of football fans.  It basically goes counter to my values and sensibilities.  It is violent, results in way too many injuries, and the capitalistic culture is greedy and ruthless.  I still am a fan.  I like the energy of the stadium, the excitement of the competition, the athleticism.  When my dad was still with us, my sibs and I had an on-going banter via email all through the season.  I miss that.  When my son was very little he fell in love with football.  We lived in a big 8 town and would take our bikes to campus to ride around until after half time when they would let us in to the stadium for free.  That was good because I was a single mom and had to master the art of finding a diversity of free activities and entertainment.  I went to every single game, home and away, when my son was in high school.  That taught this reluctant learner the basics of the game.  I was incapacitated a couple of years ago and one of my chief entertainments was keeping stats of the NFL games.  I only watch Patriot games or sometimes the KC Chiefs or Denver Broncos. That is more than enough!  So the Patriots are playing KC as I am writing this....my two favorite teams.  KC is stomping the Pat's.  Honestly though, I like sleep better than football and so many of the games go past midnight.  Who can play at that hour?..I don't have the energy to even watch...not sure this post represents my best values.....Go Figure!

Figuratively Speaking-Baby Steps #7

6"x6" watercolor Price $50

My standard nightmare for years involved missing  classes in college.  I was well into parenthood before my night time dreams started easing out of school scenes and switched to those involving me losing kids.  I am back in school, taking an online Color Theory class.  I wonder if this means I am going to start dreaming about missing a test.  In all honestly, that seems like much less of a horror to me than losing an innocent child.  I do have 3 children who have safely (more or less) made it to adulthood.  Being a grandparent is so awesome because you don't have ultimate responsibility for them, and that is a huge relief!  After spending a weekend with my granddaughters, I again had that scary dream, so I guess I am never going to be freed from ultimate responsibility when I am in REM sleep and the alpha waves are running at 15 cycles per second. Oh well.  Ah, for the days of dreaming about a teacher being mad at me.  I know I deserved those dreams as I had many experiences missing classes and tests or handing in assignments late.  However, as far as I know, I haven't lost any children.  My guilt goes deep I guess.....I am a responsible adult, and I fully expect to hand my Color Theory assignments in on time. Maybe I should take a class on dream analysis.  I would probably have nightmares about being lost in my dreams...Go Figure!

Figuratively Speaking - Baby Steps #6- Still Life

6"x6" oil on Yupo Price $50

I like to speak to strangers.  In my mind, everyone is a walking book with a story.  If I have the opportunity of opening those pages and hearing their story, I feel honored.  Of course there is always that possibility of opening it and then not being able to close it...but that happens rarely and there are warning signs if you pay attention (like a look of anticipation, slightly bulging eyes, and a general anxiousness looking for a ready victim).  But, I digress.  I have a friend who told me she hates chit chat.  She doesn't have time for it and sees no redeeming quality in it.  I am not like that.  I consider chit chat to being a segue to something more significant...a portal to their world.  So, today I saw a chance to initiate a conversation with someone I didn't know at the gym.  I saw an easy connection by commenting on her shirt, the style and where she got it, because I really like it and have one in another pattern.  Generally I think everyone is my friend until they choose not to be.  She clearly chose not to be.  She never even looked at me as she mumbled something curt.  So, looking at it from her viewpoint, I looked like a busy body trying to find out things that were none of my business.  From my viewpoint, she just blew a chance to make friends with a really interesting and fun person!  Good thing I have Rhino skin!  Go Figure!

Figuratively Speaking - Baby steps #5- Hanging Out

6"x6" oil on Yupo  Price $50

I am feeling weighted right now with concerns.  We all are feeling the sadness of loss for folks in Texas and Louisiana.  There is a disturbance in the force!  My daughter is dodging smoke from forest fires in Oregon with her family.  My nephews are trying to get out of the Florida Keys before Irma lands.  One of them works at the airport and may have to stay until the last flight leaves (hopefully with him on it!).  Vermont has its fair share of severe weather, but right now I am hanging out (like these baby shoes) waiting for the storm to start.  It is eerily quiet, but you can feel it in the air. There are rumblings of thunder in the distant.  It will only be a regular end-of-summer storm. I take so much for granted.  These major weather issues make me stop and count my blessings.  But then, there is the never ending storm of politics we are exposed to.  What is the deal with North Korea?  Geeeez...so much to weigh us down!  I think I need some chocolate and a mind numbing comedy....Go Figure!

Figuratively Speaking - Baby Steps #4 - Fall

6"x6" oil pastel, acrylic, water soluble graphite on Yupo   Price $50

Forty years ago, I lived in Summertown, TN, in a community of hippies called The Farm.  That day, Sept. 4, 1977, in my converted school bus, I gave birth to my only daughter who weighed over 10 pounds (the scale the midwives brought only went up to 10 pounds).  She was so perfect.  The first thing I said was, "She looks like my mom."  The second thing I said was,  "She looks like peaches and cream."  Even though I was a hippie, I knew I couldn't name her Peaches, so I named her Ruthann. Her brother, Adam, was interested, but not thrilled. I can't blame him, as he was a month shy of turning 2.  He was still a baby and the apple of my eye.  I thought my nest was full, but then a year and a half later, Harry dropped unexpectedly into our lives, compliments of the Catholic Women's Shelter.  Now they are all adults and I am so proud of them for growing into quality human beings. I have spoken to each of them today and I am so grateful we are close and even friends.   In the last 9 years, I have attended 5 more births, those of my grandchildren.  I know home birth is not for everyone, but it  is for our family and I am so happy I could be part of that tradition.  My totally normal daughter is on her way to the southern coast of Oregon to celebrate her birthday by spending a week in a Yurt with her husband and 3 kids.  The apple does not fall far from the tree....Go Figure!

Figuratively Speaking - Baby Steps with Bunny

6"x6" oil on Yupo  Price $50

It can be beneficial for a person to take a serious look at his/her weaknesses for the purpose of correcting them.  This painting, unfortunately represents one of those weaknesses (or maybe many, but I can only focus on a singular fault at a time).  I had a total of 45 minutes to set up, paint and clean-up today.  Since I am attempting to do the 30 in 30 challenge I felt obligated to post day 3 even though I consider it a wipe-off.  Sometimes doing a quick painting can be very instructional, and sometimes it is just hurried.  That is my weakness.  I can rush through and not be conscientious enough. I owe it to myself to go slowly and carefully...to know where I am going and how I will get there.   I had a plan with this painting, but raced through to the end.  It looks very abstract, but it actually is a baby shoe and a knitted bunny.  If you have to explain what is in your representational painting, that could be a sign that something is off....Go Figure!

Figuratively Speaking -Baby Steps #2

5"x6.5"  colored pencil, graphite, acrylic, acrylic medium on Yupo Price $50

Today it is chilly and rainy and really feels like fall. Hurricane Harvey has gently moved up the coast to New England and is giving us a soaking rain.   There is a tinge of color in the mountain landscape.  Hopefully we will still have some sunny warm weather, but the inevitable is on its way.  I don't mind change, and if I could choose anywhere to be in this season change, it would be my backyard.  Vermont is so lovely in the fall and hiking and camping are at their best. Today though, I went swimming indoors and am going to a movie later on.  My swimming has changed as well.  I am having shoulder issues so I am trying to perfect that underwater dolphin kick I noticed when watching the Olympics, not using my arms, but my torso and legs.  Change happens all the time.  My mom was an optimist and I learned so much from her about how to roll with the punches and accept change, throughout my childhood and even in the process of her death.  I chose to focus this September's 30 in 30 painting challenge on the little baby shoes created the year I was born. They represent change for me, and make an interesting subject for still life painting.  It is hard to look at my size 10 feet and imagine that once they fit into shoes just like these...maybe, even this pair.  Weirder things have happened...Go Figure!

Figuratively Speaking - Baby Steps

5"x6.5"  oil on Yupo

I was waited for AAA to come unlock my car after locking my keys in it when I ran into a coffee shop to pick up a sandwich for my lunch at a Mark Boedges workshop when I spotted these baby shoes among the antiques they were selling.  They were dated the year I was born and were priced 50% off so I thought, "I'll support them because they have been so nice to me and loaned me their phone to call AAA."  The gas station was less than a block away, yet it took and hour before they arrived.  While waiting, I decided to dedicate my 30 paintings in 30 days September exercise to getting to know these little gems.  This painting is #1 and I did it on Yupo...a really cool alternative to paper that is usually used for acid inks.  I used oil.  I think I will do all kinds of different media this month.  It will fun to try it out and doing little still life paintings are always a good way to practice. So, back at the coffee house (it was the day of the eclipse) I was  in totality with the exercise of calming meditation as I was suppose to be at Bobbin Mill Falls painting and my monkey brain really wanted me to get anxious.  The baby shoes gave me something to think about.  I hung them from my rear view mirror when they finally fished out my keys through the sunroof of my car which was propped open a few inches. The workshop was great, but I really came to love that coffee shop and my little baby shoes....Go Figure!

Figuratively Speaking - What?

8"x10" oil

When I photographed this cute little guy he was really unsure of what I wanted.  It made him look reticent which was not what I was going for.  He had that look that said, "What?"  My husband eats bacon and I am a vegetarian, so I buy him bacon crumbles from the warehouse store and that way he always has some meat to sprinkle on his salad, eggs, or rice.  I went and got some of his bacon to see if I could convince the pup to cooperate.  It did the trick a little too well.  I suddenly had all his attention and could have had him dressed in a clown suit and juggling balls for those bacon bits. Wouldn't it be nice to be able to bribe people so easily?  Maybe not.  I don't think I could handle that kind of power.  I have a lot of fun things coming up that require much preparation. I suspect when people are trying to break into my concentration force field I give them that look of, "What?"  I am not sure if I just blundered through multiple things when I was younger or if in fact I just can't do so many things at one time now that I qualify for Medicare.  My life is made of lists and if it isn't on the list, it just ain't going to happen!  I can't complain though.  I got to meet a sweet little dog that hasn't quite got the gist of manners or good behavior but has loads of potential.  I have days filled with things on my list that I get to do and on a good day, I get to check a lot of them off my list.  Right now....blog post....check....that's done!  Go Figure!

Figuratively Speaking - Spillway

6"x6" oil

I am going to a workshop next week which is facilitated by Mark Boedges.  He is an amazing landscape painter and I really hope I learn 4 really great things.  I figured out at some point that if I can take 4 things away from a workshop, then my work might improve.  If I try and take every good bit of information and latch onto it, well I default to overload.  Then, my painting suffers, my self esteem suffers, my husband suffers and....well you get the point.  All the good stuff just goes to my own spillway.  A few years ago hurricane Irene blew through Vermont wreaking havoc throughout the state.  Lefferts Pond took a hit and the spillway and bridge between the pond and the lake blew out. They have since rebuilt it and it is beautiful.  I am coming off a big show and numerous other wonderful things in my life, and I feel like I can barely hold on to the important things. My spillway is working, keeping the catchment of my life together for the important things, and letting go of the rest.  I guess that is the best we can hope for.  There is a balance in that.  I have been trying to find a balance and I think I am going to hold on to the spillway metaphor.  Go Figure!

Figuratively Speaking - Celebrate!

8"x8" oil

I feel a little guilty posting a painting image called "Celebrate!" when so many are mourning the events in Charlottesville from this past weekend. I too, am saddened by the injuries and death that occurred.  The attention that North Korea was intensely getting at the end of last week seems to be put on hold in the capsule of fear about the Alt-Right.  That is the way with news.  There is only so much space and time to put out a message, so one gets sidelined for another.  I want to spend my short time to put out a message of love and peace and celebration because, one eye may only see the sadness and discouragement, but the other can see the beauty and the good.  I think wisdom is missing from the social commentary.  I do not believe we should bury our heads in the sand, but I do believe that confronting radicals on the brink of violence is unwise.  We need a strong voice in our culture for understanding each other and a clear message that hatred is unacceptable.  We can respect the rights to differing opinions, but I do not believe that the voices of the KKK or neo-Nazi idealists are merely a differing opinion, but rather a refection of evil.  I just saw that Trump has finally denounced them.....finally.  I think we need to take their rhetoric off the front pages, out of our faces and reduce their voices by not giving them our attention.  Is anyone with me on this?  Maybe I am talking to the mirror...who knows?  Go figure!

Figuratively Speaking - Forever Friends

8"x10" oil

Shelburne Farms is the setting for this scene.  The balustrade is in the gardens overlooking Lake Champlain and the Adirondack Mountains in NY state.  These women are some of the important women in my life.  I feel very blessed to have had so many wonderful females in my life, starting with my mother who was humble, sweet, nurturing, supportive and offered unconditional love.  She taught me to see the world in a joyful way and tried to teach me to not be swayed by silly things, opinions or people.  She was an artist and one of my dreams came true when she and I attended a Dreama Tolle Perry painting workshop together.  I miss her funny way of saying things, her passion for her family and her wonderful giggle.  She wasn't perfect, like the rest of us, but her faults have faded in my mind because her positive qualities overshadowed them.  I remember as a 12 year old hearing her story about her mother's death when she was 12 and thinking I could not go on without my mom.  It helped me start to see her amazing strength.  She couldn't read and would have been diagnosed with dyslexia if they had known what it was back then, and she was left-handed, another deficit.  She was one of 13 siblings and the school decided she was unteachable and was needed more at home rather than get an education.  She was ashamed about this, but I think it just goes to show what a resourceful woman she was.  She went to art school for a short time and joined the Navy as a bookkeeper because she was a wiz with numbers.  She was a talented mom to five kids and the true definition of great homemaker.  She felt insecure about her lack of education, but taught herself to read and educated herself and she and my dad both valued their children getting an advanced education.  I didn't know, until I was an adult, that my mom had been faking her way life because she couldn't read.  So many things made sense then, like: not ever reading to us when we were little, spending nights up reading when we were teens, and the way she wrote notes in beautiful penmanship but would always leave out words.  Vocabulary was important to my parents. My dad taught me the word "facetious,"  and he was a good example of that.  My mom taught me to use "flibbertigibbet," of which she was not at all!  Go Figure!

Figuratively Speaking - Tumbling

8"x10" oil  $200   http://www.dailypaintworks.com/fineart/christine-holzschuh/untitled/474792

Letting out a big sigh of relief right about now.  I just delivered well over 100 figurative paintings (including the one featured here)  to the Castleton Downtown Gallery for a show which opens the first of July.  Like so many things in life, getting ready for this show, aptly titled Go Figure, was fraught with many potential stumbling blocks. Rather than describing the mundane frustrations I have encountered, I will just say that it was a bit like the little tufted titmouse who repeatedly is flying into my window convinced that the image of a threatening competitor is real! Nothing too interesting or life altering in any of that, but it has brought to mind more important events that have changed the course of my life.  One of those was the arrival of my youngest son, Harry.  He arrived with that first name and a heartbreaking back story.  He was an abandoned baby, teeny weeny and clearly scared.  My memory of holding him for the first time was of him gripping my skin with his fingers and toes and holding himself on to me for dear life.  This is not normal behavior for a 6 month old who should be all soft and floppy.  This unprecedented early physical development, although the result of survival skills, has served him well.  He is a natural athlete and incredibly strong.  It took almost 12 years for the adoption to go through, but that day stands as one of the happiest in my life. I could, and probably should, write a book about all we have been through, but the happy ending to the story is that he is a handsome and successful adult who has a sweet and loving personality. Aside from my parents, he has done more to form the better parts of my character than anyone else.  It is easy for others to view our story and react by saying what a wonderful thing I have done for him.  But, truth be told, it really is the other way around....Go Figure! 

Figuratively Speaking - Umbrellas

8"x10" oil Not for Sale

It is so easy to forget that for the majority of my life I have not had immediate access to obscure information at my fingertips, literally.  In my father's lifetime, he went from flying a heavy tin can around to seeing a man land on the moon.  We can instantly talk face to face, "2001: A Space Odyssey" style, to friends across the globe.  It is amazing, but equally amazing that we can also take courses online for free or very little money.  This painting is a result of Leslie Saeta's online course of painting with a palette knife, which is something new for me.  I have been thirsty for a change in my artwork, and even though I don't think painting with a palette knife is it, it is a nice tool to add to my bag of tricks. There are tons of online classes available and the advantage of them is not just the low cost, but the opportunity to take your time or move quickly through them.  The drawback is the lack of interaction with other students or an instructor, however most of the art instructors I have become familiar with are willing to correspond via email.  I think it is a great way to mix things up a bit and step into new territory.  It gives those brain neurons new pathways and shakes things up a bit.  It will take making a bunch more of these paintings to feel comfortable with the palette knife, so it may take me while...but I am in no hurry.  Considering that I am well into the last quarter of my life, that may not be true about everything....Go Figure!